Trom (The Resolution of Mind)

Another big case again I made in my Dianetic auditing with Nobby was that I had been a black case when I started my auditing, I was a black case and about two or three months after I started, roundabout Christmas 1950, I was in session with him one day and I remember it very, very clearly that I had this, I was in a road... and I knew the road very well near my childhood home, and there was a front door in front of me and I needed to know the number of the house. Well I knew the number was on the front door. Though I couldn't see the number on the door, I knew the number was there. See, case wise I had accurate impressions, accurate sonic impressions and accurate visual impressions but I was black, I never saw anything.
I was a black case. I had no actual visual field, or to put it another way, I had a black field. Whichever way you like. I was what was known as a black case. But anyway, in that session there suddenly I said to myself, the hell with this, I want to see what that number is on that door and I started to mentally look at the number on the door and suddenly a chink appeared in the blackness and the blackness started to move away and there was the number. There was the door, there was the road, there was the pavement, there was everything just as I'd remembers it, just as I knew it was as a child. There was the street, there was the memory in complete technicolor. My blackness disappeared. By the end of the session I could move up and down my time track in full technicolor visio. The blackness had just gone instantly. It was just my... I realized many years afterwards it was simply my power, my intention to see the number on the door. In other words, it was just the power of the spirit. I was intended to see, to break the blackness and I broke it. It was my blackness and I intended to see through it and I saw through it and got rid of it. I didn't need it anymore. Looking back in retrospect, I realized I've never had any need of pictures in my mind as a child and so I've never looked at my past properly. I could always recall what I wanted to recall and I've never actually had a need to look at things in great detail in my past and so, of course, I've never had the ability to do so. I'd never cultivated the ability. When I got into Dianetics, I needed that ability and so I created that ability to do it and I broke the blackness and started to see in full technicolor which I could have done at any time if I had really put my mind to it. I firmly believe that all black cases are of that nature. They simply have never learnt the ability, they've never needed the ability. If they really... could be guided to break the blackness any time they want to.
 Anyway in later years when... I became quite an expert on black cases because of my subjective experience of being a black case when I started off in therapy and breaking my own occlusion gave me... I. was an authority on the subject, the black case. There was no other Scientologist I knew in London who had been a black case and had broken his blackness. I was the only one so I was quite justified in calling myself an authority on the subject of black cases. But one should not take away the good auditing I got from Nobby because without that auditing I would have never broken through that black field. So one cannot detract from the fine auditing I got from my co?auditor. He made it, he really did make it possible even though in the final instance, of course, it was the preclear that did it, so the acclaim must go to the co?auditor, to the auditor in the session who did it. So it was a positive mark for my auditor, Nobby, who broke through my blackness for me.